A Place Where I Belong
by AlwaysAmusing
Summary: "It was a lovely garden, he thought to himself as he looked around. The grass was soft against his bare feet. Peaceful, even. Relaxing. He had a sense that he should be more disturbed by the sense of calm over the place. Wasn't there something he was forgetting...?" My interpretation of Valhalla.
1. Loki

**HEY GUYS**

 **So basically I've been writing fanfiction for a long time on AO3 (you can find that in my bio if you like), and I mostly got this account to manage the fics I've been reading, most of which are on here. And I've only just now figured out how to post something without uploading a file SO please enjoy the fanfiction I wrote the other day.**

He woke in a garden. It appeared to be midday, and birds were cooing all around. He could smell the flowers and hear the noises of a little fountain before he turned his head to look. He sat up, expecting something to hurt.

When nothing did, he looked down at himself, frowning. There was no blood. No ache in his muscles. No pounding in his head.

Nothing.

Even his clothes were different. Though his tunic was still green, it was a lighter color. His trousers were a a dark gray. There was a scarlet blanket wrapped around his shoulders, like a shroud. He rubbed the soft fabric between his fingers, his hair spilling into his face.

Wrapping the blanket around his shoulders, he looked around more. It was a clear day, warm, with a gentle breeze pushing his hair into his face. He pushed it back behind his ear and stood, legs shaky.

It was a lovely garden, he thought to himself as he looked around. The grass was soft against his bare feet. _Peaceful_ , even. Relaxing. He had a sense that he should be more disturbed by the sense of calm over the place. Wasn't there something he was forgetting...?

 _Well, never mind it now,_ he thought, catching sight of a beautiful pink and yellow flower. He took the bloom in his hand and bent to sniff it, smiling as he did so. When was the last time he had given a _genuine_ smile...?

And yet, as he pulled at the blanket to make sure it didn't trail on the ground, he realized he was _happy._ He continued wandering though what seemed like the endless garden until he reached a pear tree. The fruit was ripe and golden, and so he reached up and plucked one from the tree. He bit into it, and the juices ran down his hand. It was delicious, he thought, swiping a finger down to catch the trail of juice before it reached his sleeve. It wasn't long before he finished it and he continued on, licking the juices off his fingers.

A few minutes—or was it hours?—later, he saw a figure sitting on a bench. _A woman,_ he thought, as he approached, for she wore a long gown, and her hair was in a braid over her shoulder. He got even closer, and she turned, surprised when she saw him. "Loki?"

Loki stopped. _Oh,_ he thought, _that's my name_. He frowned. How had he forgotten _that_?

But as she stood, closing the gap between them in an embrace, he recognized who this was.

 _This is my mother._

He smiled and embraced her in return, closing his eyes. Yet he couldn't shake the feeling that this was somehow _wrong._ "Hello, Mother," he said instead. "How are you?"

"I am well, my son," she said, her smile bright. "Though, I am surprised to see you here."

"Oh? Why?" She pulled away and held him at arms length.

"Do... What do you remember?" She asked, hesitant for some reason.

"You're my mother," he said. "And I'm Loki. We're in a garden and..." He paused. This wasn't Asgard's gardens. He frowned again, deeper this time, and said "Where are we?"

"Oh, child," she murmured, and led him over to the bench by his hand. He sat next to her and she continued to hold it, even covering it with her other hand. "Loki, darling, we are in Valhalla."

"Valhalla...?" Loki stared at er for a moment, blinking. "But doesn't that mean...?"

"Yes, Loki," she said, gentle as ever as she pushed a loose strand of hair back behind his ear. "We are dead."

Dead. _Dead._ He was _dead._

He could feel the cold metal of the shrapnel inside of him, could feel the warmth of his own blood, saw Thor kneeling above him, cradling him, crying over him. _I'm a fool, I'm a fool, I'm a fool, I'm..._

Blood. Pain. Anger, madness, _rage-_

All was now replaced with a sense of calm and a little confusion. He remembered how he had died. He remembered being afraid to die, of apologizing to Thor, of agreeing to go along with his stupid plan for vengeance.

He looked down at the scarlet blanket around his shoulders. It was the precise shade of Thor's cape. He would go as far to say that it was Thor's cape. "Why do I have this?" He asked, looking up at Frigga.

"Alas, I know not, my son," she replied. "How do you feel?"

"Um..." He looked down at his hands, tilting his head a bit, considering. They changed from their æs coloring to jotun. Blue, darker, intricate markings lined his skin. He felt the change continue and once it was complete, he looked up at Frigga. "I don't know," he replied at last. "I was... I was _angry._ But now I just feel..." He waved his hands, trying to think of the word.

"At peace?" Frigga supplied.

"...Maybe," Loki said, uncertain, then shook his head. "No, that's not it. It's different. It's..." He pursed his lips, thinking for a few moments before shrugging. "I suppose it will come to me later," he finished. Frigga smiled, kissing his hand. For now, he was happy just to sit and watch the birds with his mother.

A little—or maybe it was a long—time later, he said "I must say, this isn't what I expected when I thought of Valhalla."

"Valhalla is vast," Frigga said. "This is merely a portion of it. You came here because it was where you would be the happiest to wake."

"Is this where you arrived?" He asked. She nodded.

"Though I must admit," she said, "I was not expecting you so soon."

Loki was quiet, squeezing her hand tighter. He began to breath harder. Frigga looked up at him and said "What is it, darling?"

"I-" He swallowed, shaking his head. "They told me- They told me that you had- And I... I said to you..." Loki squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before looking up at her, eyes full of desperation. "I was wrong," he said. "You... You _are_ my mother. Always. I'm- And I-" Loki looked down again, his other hand curling into the blanket. "I told them how to get out of the dungeons," he said in a rush, his throat closing further with every word. "I told them to go left and- I never _imagined_ that they would- that they'd-"

"Oh, my son," Frigga murmured and tugged her hand out of his, putting her arms around him. "Loki, it is _not_ your fault. There was no way you could have known."

"I shouldn't have told them," he replied, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. "I should have-"

"Should have what?" Frigga said. "There was nothing you could have done, darling. I promise, I do not blame you for what happened. Do you understand?"

Loki squeezed his eyes shut again and nodded, unable to speak for fear of his voice breaking. He swallowed instead and she kissed his temple. His breath was still unsteady, so she whispered "Let it out, sweetheart. It's alright now. You're alright, just let it all out."

So Loki buried himself into his mother's embrace and cried, heaving sobs that shook him to the core, tears slipping free and down his cheeks for what seemed like ages. And she held him all the while, whispering things into his ear, that he barely understood, simply glad for her voice, her scent, her touch, her _everything_. She was there, he was safe, and that was all that mattered.

When he started to quiet, she said "Loki, can you match my breathing, please? Deep breaths... _That's_ it. Good, Loki. You're okay now. I've got you. I'm here. Just breath."

When Loki was calm, he remained in her embrace for a moment longer, eyes closed, enjoying the feel of her fingers running through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp. When he spoke, his voice was heavy and raw.

"I was protecting Thor and Jane Foster from Malekith." He paused, then added "He... killed me."

Frigga's fingers stilled for a moment. "Malekith killed you?"

"The Kurse," Loki clarified. He felt sleepy and vaguely irritated that she'd stopped moving her hand. "I returned the favor." He sighed and Frigga began stroking his hair again.

"How did you get out of the dungeons?" She asked.

"Thor let me out. He needed to know where the passage to the Dark World was. He committed treason again," he added her, opening his eyes to look up at her. "So did Heimdall. And Fandral. And Sif. And Volstagg. And Hogun." He grinned and closed his eyes again. "They are going to be in _so_ much trouble..." He trailed off, his smile fading. "...If we even succeeded."

"I'm sure you did," Frigga assured him. "Why did you need to get to Svartalfheim?"

Loki smiled again and said "Thor had this plan." He told her of how Thor had come to him, demanding his help. Of how they'd stolen a ship and how Loki had pretended to betray Thor without telling Jane.

"That bit was my idea," he made sure to tell her. "Thor's original plan was... less than brilliant."

"Clever," Frigga said. "But it didn't work?"

"Mm," Loki said. "No. The Aether put itself back together. Though, it is no longer in Jane Foster."

"Good," Frigga said. "I like her."

"I like her too," Loki said. "She has spirit."

"Aye," Frigga nodded. "That she does. Much like another I know," she tugged on his ear a little and Loki huffed.

The silence stretched for a long time. Or no time at all. It was hard to judge time in this place, Loki thought, eyes still closed as Frigga ceased stroking his hair and began to play with it instead, making little braids.

"Loki," she said. "Why did you try to take Midgard?"

A startled laugh burst forth from Loki. "Of course, _now_ someone asks," he said, sitting up and shaking the hair out of his eyes. "I didn't _want_ to. I didn't have a choice. Well," he admitted, "I _did_ , but at that point I couldn't even remember what my _name_ was. I just wanted it to stop."

"For what to stop?" Frigga asked. Loki shrugged.

"The torture," he replied and began to put more little braids in his hair. Frigga waited and Loki continued, disliking the silence. "Just because no one in Asgard found me after I fell doesn't mean _no one_ did. Did you never wonder where I got the army from?"

Frigga's eyes widened and she went pale. "I- _Torture_?"

"Mm-hmm," Loki said, reaching around to pick a flower. It was a blue and silver one and he stood, beginning to make a flower crown. "I landed eventually and was found by one who wished to have the tesseract. I told him about myself and he offered me an army and a kingdom in exchange for it. He was, to put it mildly, 'less than pleased' when I turned him down."

"Wh- Loki why did you not _say_ any of this?" She asked.

"At the trial?" Loki looked at her, raising a skeptical eyebrow. "Really? Who would have believed me?"

"I would have," she said. Loki sighed.

"As much as I would like to believe that," he said, "I highly doubt it."

She got up and followed as he began to wander, collecting more flowers for the crown. "Why do you doubt me, child?"

"Simple," Loki said. "No one trusts a liar. Even Thor said he wished he could trust me. I've no doubts that you love me, Mother, but can you look me in the eye and say you trusted me?"

Frigga gave a breathy laugh and Loki turned, frowning. "What?"

"Oh, Loki," she said, smiling a little. "My sweet, darling Loki. You never _could_ lie to me. And for good reason." She leaned in and said "I know your tell."

Loki raised his eyebrows. "Me? I have no tell. I made sure of that years ago."

"It is not an obvious one, but even so, it _is_ there." She walked ahead, for Loki had stopped walking to look at her in astonishment. Shaking himself, he caught up to her.

"Well? What is it?"

Frigga only smiled.

"There is a hall not far from here where we may eat," she said, Loki finishing his crown. "Would you like to go?"

"Not yet," Loki said, and placed the crown on her head. He picked more flowers and began to start one for himself.


	2. Odin

**I forgot to do this with the last chapter, but...**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel. Obviously.**

* * *

He awoke in a garden, confused. This was not where he'd fallen asleep, was it? No, of course not; he shook the idea away as he got up. It was a nice garden, he thought, standing, surprised to find that he could get up easily, without his bones groaning in protest. There were different kinds of flowers, and the grass was soft. _Frigga would have liked it,_ he thought to himself, and began to wander around, unsure of where he was going.

It wasn't long before he saw someone else wandering as well, sitting cross-legged on the ground, with wispy orange hair, the sleeve of their tunic slightly off their shoulder. They were drawing, or something. It took only a moment for the figure to look up and smile, blue eyes widening in surprised.

"Odin!" The figure stood, a grin upon xyr mischievous face. "How wonderful of you to join us."

"Loptr?" Odin said, eyebrows furrowing. No, that couldn't be right. Loptr was long since dead. And even then, xe wouldn't be greeting him like _this_.

"Well, good to see you still remember me, brother," the fire giant replied, stopping in front of him. Xe still towered over Odin, hair that still grew in wisps, like smoke. There was a pencil behind xyr ear.

How could I forget?" Odin said, cautious. Loptr seemed to note this and laughed, throwing xyr head back.

"Can we not put that behind us? It was in another _lifetime_ ago. Come," xe said, offering Odin xyr arm, notebook under the other. "Your wife and son will be happy to see you."

"Hmm?" Odin looked up, confused even as he accepted. "My...?"

"Of course!" Loptr said. "They've been waiting a long time. And I even longer! Not that one can truly tell the passing of time here, but it must have been long. But Frigga is as beautiful as ever and Loki is a charming boy. I like him," Loptr's eyes sparkled as xe added "And I like his _name_ even better. How thoughtful of you to name him after me! He's a better actor than I, though."

Odin nodded, staying in his confusion for only a moment longer before saying "Brother, where are we?"

"Have you not guessed?" Loptr replied, raising an eyebrow. "We are in Valhalla, Odin. Where else?"

Valhalla. Odin felt like a complete fool. Of course, he had died in his sleep. But Balder was king now. Thor had refused the throne long ago, and though it had pained him, he let the boy go. And Balder would do fine, he had reflected. Perhaps he hadn't been raised to be a king, but Vili and Ve would help him until they too passed. Perhaps even Thor would assist him.

"How are they?" Odin asked as they paused at an apple tree. "Frigga and Loki, I mean."

"Oh, they're just fine," Loptr replied and reached up to grab an apple. "Loki has long since discovered the library and Frigga has found company of her own. Both are happy, but they miss you. And Thor." Xe paused to take a bite of the apple, looking thoughtful as xe chewed. "Especially Loki," xe aid when he swallowed. "Miss him, I mean."

"And is he... Well?" Odin said.

"You mean sane?" Loptr corrected, and Odin looked away. Loptr sighed. "Yes, Odin. He is sane. He has made several friends as well. They play tricks." Loptr then snorted. "I may or may not have a hand in them every now and then."

"He does take after you quit a bit," Odin agreed. "I wish you had seen him when he was younger."

Loptr shrugged. "I see him now as I see you now. It is enough. Tell me, how do you feel?"

Odin tilted his head to the side, snatching an apple of his own. "I feel calm," he said. "Relaxed, almost. Nervous."

"Nervous? What, of seeing your wife and son again?" Loptr grinned and nudged him with xyr arm. "She'll be glad to see you, just you wait. Loki... Well, things with him may be awkward. He dislikes talking about his past." Xe laughed and added "You should have seen his face when I told him who I was in relation to you. It was absolutely _priceless!"_

"You told him?" Odin said, looking at his blood brother.

"How could I not? The minute he mentioned he was a son of Odin I knew. Adopted, isn't he?"

"How did you figure that out?" Odin asked. Loptr shrugged, tossing xyr apple core away.

"I guessed at first. Frigga may or may not have told me."

Odin sighed, shaking his head in exasperation. "I see you are as impossible as ever," he said. Loptr placed a hand against xyr heart in mock hurt.

"I am offended you would even _consider_ to think otherwise, darling," he said. Odin couldn't help himself; he chuckled. Loptr smiled, dropping xyr hand. "Ah, _there's_ the Odin we know and love. When did _you_ get so stony?"

Odin's smile faded. "You know exactly when," he replied at length.

"Hmm. We'll have to fix that, then," Loptr said and pecked Odin's cheek. "Come, let's go find Frigga."

They walked on through the gardens, eventually reaching a gate. Loptr opened it, and Odin looked up at the large, almost fortress-like structure. He followed Loptr inside, looking around at the people of all races hurrying to various places, laughter ringing through the halls. Soon they reached a quieter place and Odin stopped, holding his breath.

Her auburn hair was loose down her back, a light purple dress covering her. She looked around as Loptr approached, her eyes sliding from xym to Odin. Her eyes widened a fraction, her mouth splitting into a smile. She walked—no _glided—_ to where he stood, taking his hands in hers.

"Frigga," he breathed, reaching up to stroke her cheek. She smiled even more, leaning into his touch before reaching up to kiss him. When she pulled away, she spoke.

"Hello, my love." She reached up and wiped away tears he hadn't even known had fallen. He moved his hand to cradle the back of her head and leaned in to kiss her, gently. She gave a small laugh and put her arms around him.

"I missed you," he whispered, pulling away. "So much, Frigga."

"I missed you as well, Odin," she said. "More than I can say."

The moment was interrupted as a person turned the corner, almost falling over with the change of direction. He stopped at Frigga, kissed her cheek, and ran off again, shouting "I'll explain later!"

A moment later, about five men with canary-yellow hair and purple beards came charging after, shouting "Get back here, fiend!"

The other man cackled as he ran. "You have to catch me first!"

Odin stared as they vanished around another corner. He turned back to Frigga. "Was that...?"

Frigga was hiding her smile behind her hand and Loptr was leaning against a wall, doubled over with laughter. "It worked!" Xe said, unable to keep the utter _glee_ out of xyr voice.

"Yes, my dear," Frigga said. "That was, indeed, our Loki."

Odin turned back to where the boy had disappeared. "He is well?"

"He is," Frigga confirmed, nodding. "I think once he is not running away from people, he'll give you a proper hello."

Odin nodded and Loptr said, still giggling, "I'll go help him," and strode off in the direction they had gone. When xe had gone, Frigga took Odin's arm.

"Come," she tell me. "Tell me what has happened since my departure. I only know the story up until Loki arrived."

Odin nodded and said "Thor refused to become King. I gave it to Balder instead, when the time came. Thor promised to help him in any way he could. He said he would rather be a good man than a great King."

"We raised him well," she said, smiling in her pride. "And I'm sure Balder will make a wonderful King. He's a sweet boy."

"Hmm." Odin didn't express his doubt, but followed her as they wandered around. It wasn't long before they found Loptr and Loki sitting on a bench, talking. Loptr was smiling as always, but Loki's face had turned serious. Odin stopped and watched them for a moment, drinking in the sight.

Loki's hair was longer, he thought. He looked healthy. His green eyes were bright and his skin was still pale, but with a bit of color at his cheeks.

Odin hesitated. They had burned Loki in a shroud of green and gold, when his body was retrieved from Svartalfheim. It was a simple funeral, with only a few people. Thor, Sif, the Warriors Three, and those who wanted to make sure the trickster was actually _dead_. But here he was, in a green tunic and dark trousers, a red cloak around his shoulders.

It looked an awful lot like Thor's cape, now that he came to think of it.

As if sensing Odin's gaze, Loki looked around, his eyes resting on Odin. He tilted his head, listening to something Loptr was telling him. He nodded once, then got up, walking over to Odin and Frigga.

"I always wondered what you looked like with both eyes," Loki said and it was in that moment that Odin realized he _did_ have both eyes. He blinked once as Frigga reprimanded him for the comment, just by shooting him A Look. Loki ignored the look and waited for Odin to speak.

"Well," he said, choosing his words with care. "Now you know."

Loki's lips twitched, trying to suppress a smile. Odin looked him up and down as Loptr came over, standing next to Frigga. Xe made a face at Odin, who only rolled his eyes before looking back at Loki.

"Hello, my son," he said.

"Hello, Father," Loki replied after a moment.

"Aww," Loptr said, smiling. "You know, I remember when I had kids..."

Odin looked up, glaring, but Loki frowned at xym. "You had kids?"

"Have, technically," Loptr said. "Hela, Jormungandr, and Fenrir, Nari, and Vali."

"Hela?" Loki frowned. "As in, Queen of Helheim? _That_ Hela?"

"Mm-hmm," Loptr said, then flashed a grin at Odin. "We did not part of the best of terms, did we, brother?"

Loki flinched and glanced away at the remark. Loptr slung an arm over the boy's shoulder and said "By the way, there was something I wanted to show you on-"

"Loptr," Odin said. "May I have a moment with my son?"

"Of course," xe winked at Loki. "Come find me later, yes?" Without waiting for an answer, Loptr pecked Loki's cheek and winked at Odin before wandering off somewhere.

Loki was still looking at the ground, his hands behind his back. Odin looked at him, then sighed, pulling Loki into a firm, but gentle embrace. Loki gave a little yelp in surprise as he did so, but Odin didn't relent. He reached up and stroked Loki's hair, closing his eyes.

"Loki," he murmured. "I am sorry. For the things I did. For the things I _said_."

Loki remained tense for a moment longer, then he seemed to relax, resting his head on Odin's shoulder. Soon, Odin heard the boy reply "I am too. I'm sorry. And... And I forgive you." There was a pause and he whispered "Do you... Could you...?"

"Forgive you?" Odin murmured. "Yes, my boy. My son. I forgive you."

It was then that Loki threw his arms around Odin, embracing him back. And after that, there was nothing more to say.

* * *

 **Okay so on Loptr and xyr affection; it is my headcanon that the jotnar (both fire and frost) are quite affectionate and have no problem whatsoever with kissing/hugging as forms of appropriate affection. This makes some of the aesir confused, but since Odin his half jotun (it's mythology canon; his mother Bestla is a jotun) and he grew up without hatred of jotnar, he and Loptr are actually good friends.**

 **Also, I REALLY like writing Loptr. I may write something with just xym and Odin later. Also, as Loptr will explain in the next chapter, the frost giants use ze/zim/zir, while fire giants use xe/xym/xyr. It makes sense in my head, I don't really know why. (It's also my headcanon that all jotnar are hermaphroditic/intersex, so they're sort of fluid on the whole gender thing, so while most jotnar ARE big, there are some like Loptr and Loki who have a smaller/more feminine build.)**

 **I forgot where I got it, but I got the idea that mythology accidentally mixed up Loptr's feats with Loki's, given that Loki's named after xym. So instead of Hela and the others being LOKI'S kids, they're actually Loptr's.**

 **If anyone has other questions about Loptr/the jotnar, my tumblr is in my profile, or PM me!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel. Obviously.**

* * *

Why the Hel was he in a _garden?_ Where the Hel even _was_ he? It certainly wasn't Asgard. Or maybe it was.

It was hard to tell.

He got up and looked around, frowning before calling "Hello?" There wasn't any reply, though there _was_ a fountain somewhere. With a sigh, he got up and started off, trying to find people.

It didn't take very long. He found a person with copper-colored skin, deep red markings etched into his—well, he wasn't sure if they were a he or not—skin, hair orange and wispy. He approached the figure and said "Um. Hello?"

The person looked up, their blue eyes blinking.

"Greetings," they said. "Who might you be?"

"Thor," he replied. "Odinson. Who are you?"

The person gave him a slow smile. "Odinson. Well, _that's_ fun." They stood, and Thor was a bit put off to find that they were at least a foot taller than him.

"Who are you?" Thor repeated. The giant, for that was what Thor assumed they were, bent and picked up what looked like a sketchbook, sticking the pencil behind their ear.

"My name," they said when they straightened, "is Loptr, blood brother to Odin. I've heard a lot about you."

Thor stared at them in disbelief. "You...? I did not know my father _had_ a blood brother."

"With the animosity between jotnar and æsir, are you surprised?" Loptr asked, raising an eyebrow. "Most forget that Odin himself is half Jotnar on his mother's side. You are a quarter jotnar and Loki is full. I, however, am a fire giant."

Thor stared at the jotun. He had met fire giants before, but they were bulkier. This giant had a slender, almost woman-like figure. He shook his head and said "I'm sorry but- Are you a woman or a man?"

The jotun threw back their head, laughing. "Oh, boy, don't you know _anything_ about the jotnar? Not? Oh, goodness..." Loptr shook their head, still giggling. "Jotnar are not typically one or the other, but both. Or neither. It depends. Fire giants use the pronouns xe, xym, and xyr. Frost giants use ze, zim, zir instead."

"Oh," Thor said. Loptr looked at him and shook xyr head.

"I thought you would have tried to get to know the jotnar as much as possible, especially considering it _was_ æs ignorance about them that half drove him mad? What happened in the Void managed the other half... He's okay now, though," Loptr assured him as Thor looked up. "He's made friends here, and I showed him the library not long after he arrived."

Thor swallowed and nodded, following. They reached the edge of the garden when Loptr spoke again. "So, who would you like to see first? Frigga and Odin are usually found together and they're probably in the dining hall. Loki was in the library when I left."

"Um..." Thor hesitated.

"The library it is," Loptr decided for him. "This way, nephew. Loki will be quite pleased to see you."

"Will he?" Thor murmured to himself. Loptr smiled and threw an arm around his shoulders.

"You have no idea just how much he loves you, do you?" Xe said, a faint note of amusement in xyr voice. "He gave his life for you, did he not? He knew he wouldn't return from the Dark World. Oh, and don't give me that look," the jotun added. "It's not _your_ fault. But he does miss you."

Thor said nothing as they carried on, tuning out most of what Loptr said. Xe took his arm back from around Thor as they approached large wooden doors, pushing them open. Thor's eyes widened at the sheer _size_ of the place. It seemed to go forever in all directions. Loptr caught sight of his expression and grinned.

"Every book ever has or will be written," xe said, lowering xyr voice. "Organized by subject and alphabetically. Loki was almost bursting with joy when he saw it."

"I can believe it," Thor said, looking around. They walked along the shelves, seeing people at the many tables and chairs, pouring over the books, until Loptr said "Ah. Here we are."

They had reached a table. And under the table, there was a person, who had rolled out a map of some sorts. Thor hung back, shifting from foot to foot, wondering why he had become nervous all of the sudden.

Loptr walked over and knocked against the table. "Loki! Guess who's here?"

"Go away, Loptr," came Loki's voice from under the table. "I'm busy."

"Doing what?" Loptr asked. There was no reply. Xe sighed and said "Why are you under the table?"

"There's not enough room on it," Loki said. Sure enough, there _were_ a number of things on the desk. There were open books, pens, pencils, bits of charcoal, and notes littered it. Thor looked at the written words, wondering what they were as Loptr sighed.

"Loki, _Thor's_ here."

Loki huffed. "Not every big, blond, blue-eyed oaf is Thor, Loptr. In fact, that's the description for most æsir."

"But it _is_!" Loptr said, then turned to Thor. "Thor, tell your brother that it's you."

"Um..." Thor furrowed his brows as he looked over at Loki's notes. "Loki, what are you doing?"

There was a _thwack_ and the table jumped up as Loki hit his head on the underside, several stick of charcoal rolling off and breaking.

"Oww," Loki mumbled, clutching the top of his head as he scooted backwards out from under the table. Loptr snorted and looked away to hide xyr smile. "Wow," xe said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Graceful."

Loki shot xym a filthy look before looking at Thor. Thor looked back before glancing away.

"Do... Do you need help?" He offered, looking back and holding his hand out to Loki. Loki took it and Thor pulled him to his feet.

"Let me look at you," Loki said and put his hands on either side of Thor's face, frowning as he looked his brother up and down. Thor stood, awkward in his hesitance, until Loki let go of his face and pulled him into a tight embrace instead. "You oaf," he said to Thor. "I missed you."

Loptr shot Thor an _I-told-you-so_ look over Loki's shoulder, and Thor rolled his eyes before hugging Loki back, just as tight.

It was Loki. Everything about this, the warmth, the feel, was familiar, and years upon years of guilt came back to Thor as he held his brother. Loki hummed as his thin fingers found the ends of Thor's hair. "You need a haircut."

"Loki," Thor said. "Loki, I'm sorry."

"For what?" Loki asked, sounding incredulous. It changed to suspicion, however, when he said "What did you do?"

Thor pulled away and looked at his brother's confused eyes. "You- I couldn't- I couldn't save you. I brought you to Svartalfheim that day, and I- It- I _killed_ you."

Loki gave him an unimpressed look. "Thor, how long have you held on to this?"

Thor gave a hollow laugh, to which someone said "Shh!"

Loki glared over Thor's shoulder, then sighed. "This can wait. Loptr, can you make sure no one moves my things?"

"Depends. Can I look over your work?" Loptr asked.

"Fine. Don't change anything," Loki said, and grabbed the front of Thor's tunic, pulling him along out of the library. Once they were out, Loki released him, sighing. "Thor, you complete and utter _idiot._ _Malekith_ killed me, not you."

"But Loki-"

"No," Loki said, holding up a hand. "Listen. What did you want me to do, let him kill you? No, Thor. The Nine Realms needed a hero and it was never supposed to be me. And that's fine." Seeing Thor's upset face, Loki rubbed his eyes. "Thor, I never meant to return to Asgard alive. Even if I had survived Svartalfheim, do you _really_ think I would have just gone back to the dungeons? Of course not," he said, answering his own question. "I would have left at the first opportunity."

Thor swallowed, his throat feeling dry. "But... You said..."

"Liar, remember? You were right not to trust me," Loki said, shrugging. "But no longer. That has long since past." When Thor looked away, a hand came up to grasp his chin. "Thor. Look at me."

After a moment, Thor looked up to meet Loki's gaze. Loki smiled at him and said "Look at me. I'm okay, Thor. Hel, I'm _better_ than okay, I'm _happy._ I'd forgotten how to be happy before, brother. I'm not angry any longer. Not at you, not at Father, not even at myself. And that reminds me," Loki pulled his hand back and stood straight.

"I did you wrong," Loki stated. "I betrayed you over and over again, without giving you a reason. I've lied to, plotted against, and nearly _killed_ you, on multiple occasions. I do not ask for your forgiveness. To do so would be asking for too much. Instead I will only say that I am sorry, Thor, for all I have done."

Thor's mouth had fallen open. It must have looked comical, but Loki remained serious. Finally, Thor's mouth turned into a smile, and he almost tackled his brother in another hug, making Loki squawk. Thor ignored him and said "Brother, Loki, I forgive you." Of course he did, he thought to himself. He would always forgive Loki, no matter how terrible the crime, for Loki was back. _His_ Loki was back. _I have my brother back,_ he thought, ecstatic. But it faded as he remembered something as well. He pulled back from Loki, holding his brother at arms length.

"And Loki, I, too am fare from guiltless. I have wronged you as well, I realize, and I am sorry."

"I forgive you too," Loki said, also smiling, and Thor pulled him back into the hug, Loki replying in kind this time.

When they broke apart, Loki took Thor's arm, leading him again. "Have you seen Mother and Father yet? Oh, she'll be so happy to see you! And Father told us that you gave up the throne to Balder, I couldn't _believe_ it! He also told me that you did in fact defeat Algrim, which was good to know, considering I never got to find out. And he told me you married Jane! I approve, brother, I quite liked her, so know you had my blessing in that, and Mother's as well. Though, I _was_ surprised to hear that Odin granted her a golden apple, considering he didn't exactly _like_ humans..."

Loki babbled on, stopping only to say "So tell me, how have things been since I left?"

So Thor told him. He talked about the various relations between the Realms, of the new treaty between Asgard and Jotunheim, of Sif and the Warrior's three. He told Loki of the passing of the Avengers, one by one, and how Darcy had accepted an apple, to join Jane on Asgard. Darcy had brought her taser along, and had threatened anyone who dared call her a "mere moral." Loki laughed at that.

"I wish I could have met her," he said. "She sounds wonderful."

"She is," Thor agreed. "I think the two of you will be great friends when he gains entrance to Valhalla."

"Oh, I hope so," Loki said, smiling. "I certainly hope so. Now come _on_! We're almost there."

"To where?" Thor asked, laughing. Loki looked back, still grinning.

"You'll see," he said, and led on, Thor following without any question, without any doubt in his mind.

And at last Loki found the word that had escaped him, sitting on that bench with Frigga. It was _content_. He was content, here, forgiven and loved by his family, pulling Thor along by his hand towards their— _their_ —parents.

Loki was content at last.

* * *

 **And that's it! As I said in the last chapter, I may or may not continue this as a series, especially since I** ** _definitely_** **want to do a piece on Loptr and Odin's relationship. If I end up doing a series, I'll post a notice here, so if you're following, keep following!**


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